It’s coming, or should I say, they are coming. It is just taking me a lot longer than I thought. Also, I am working without a laptop so it’s taking even longer. I am being patient. I think.
Guess what? I am going to put up the missing blog entries from the past couple of months by the end of next week!! I am excited! The past year has been full of growth, setbacks, pain, love and even though I am still in the middle of it, I know it will end up just fine.
I also know that I will never be the same, and I am ok with that.
So give me till the end of 8 November, I should be all caught up by then and you will have lots to read.
So by now we all know I am unemployed. I have been looking for a job since February. I feel virtually unhireable.
Something has to change. No one is going to change whatever it is for me.
Jobs are not banging the door down. Even though I know more unemployed people than employed, nothing seems to be changing… you still get evicted if you cannot pay, cant pay your credit card?? collections….
So I have to make the change myself. I am not entirely sure what the change will be, but I can tell it is time.
originally posted on:
Monday, April 20, 2009
Ok, I apologize. I got behind. I am behind… I will catch up.
On with my story:
So the last time I posted, I told you how I was wrong with my line of thinking right before and right after the layoff.
It took me a while to realize this. Before I did, I sunk into a bit of a depression. I sat at home, I slept till noon, I lost weight (I am a stress starver, not a stress eater) and I generally moped.
I was really down about myself. I know I was laid off as a result of the economy, but I still took it personally. Beating myself up like that caused a sort of amnesia in my mental resume. I started thinking that the ONLY job I am capable of is Travel Agency job. I started only thinking of my skills within the parameters of travel. I stopped entertaining thoughts that I am intelligent and adaptable. I ignored my talent of communication.
To sum it up, society tells us that when I get fired, we should be ashamed. Being laid off did not feel any better. I went to bed at night trying to figure out what I did wrong. I woke up in the morning in a panic because I had no job to go to.
Seriously – what happens to a person to make them forget what they can do?
I know what it was for me.
I hated my job.
I hate not knowing what was expected of me. I hate not having the tools and supplies to do my job properly. I hate being micromanaged into a pulp.
I am over bosses who have the personality of a schizophrenic Wheaton Terrier (no offense to the terriers). I am over “open door” policies that don’t mean anything but “open door.”
I am done letting my time get taken advantage of and working my rear end off to get by while others practically color at their desks and get praised.
Any industry can be hard, I understand that. The Travel Industry seems to have more than its fair share of negativity. From the bottom to the top.
What happened to being in love with what you do? I mean, I wanted that as a child… I wanted that as a teenager… I was sure I would get that when I was in college….
I don’t expect to have a Pollyanna day every day at the office. I just expected something different.
I spent some time working on my resume and talking to this friend of a friend and I made some major decisions about what I need out of a career.
For the first time in years… I went to bed one night and woke up the next morning… happy.
Oh – and the next post will include the “Un” Employment Office Adventures!!
Sunday, March 29, 2009
I left out a detail before.
Remember, I said the layoff happened on 8 February. Well, if you look at your calendar – that’s right! It is a Sunday.
Nothing really wrong with that, right?
It was also via email.
The email came at 930am from my manager, who we shall call by her initials, Traci, so she can remain anonymous.
“I regret to inform you that we have no more work available to sustain your position. I am sorry.”
There was a separation letter attached, to speed up the unemployment claim process, and that was it.
Not sure if you all know, but I was one of their Managers. I was the Manager of the Refund and Exchange Department. When I got that email, I was furious! I was bordering on indignant!! I deserved a bit of a parade and some weeping masses or something as I left. Now I look back and I am fine with it.
Even a couple days later, after I lamented over how I was going to end up living in a cardboard box under a bridge, I did decide that this is for the best.
This was the Universe saying to me, “Hey! Pssst! You there… get the heck out of that job you hate.”
So about three days after the layoff, I was ok. Would it last? I doubt it. I know me. I am a panicker. I start thinking about not having money and then not paying bills and then losing my car and then losing my place and sleeping under the stars, but not in a good way.
My next adventure… The Unemployment Office!
Sunday, March 29, 2009
…. but it did.
I got laid off on 8 February.
The signs were there. We had all been worried for quite some time. ours had been cut, responsibilities had been re-assigned, titles had been moved… heck, even desks and offices were moved. All the things that the news, articles and websites told me were WARNING signals that lay-offs were about to happen were in effect.
So what did I do?
I hid my head in the sand.
Lots of things went through my mind:
“I can’t get another job.”
“This is the only thing I know how to do”
“I have no other skills”
“Writing a resume is hard work”
“I won’t be the one to get let go”
I was 100% wrong. Whew!
The next couple entries will tell you how I figured this out.
I am excited to share.